I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
there is another microwave in the elevator.
send nudes
from the living room?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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