wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
