idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
