I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
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