he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
