he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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