Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
