Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just found puke in my bra..
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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