You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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