What did we do last night that was yellow?
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Randomize
