she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
