So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Semen is not good for contacts.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
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