My brain says no but my pants say off.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
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