If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
