She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
