my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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