so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize