I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
