Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
My vagina is officially offended.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
