i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Randomize
