I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
