College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Randomize
