At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
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He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
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I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize