her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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