in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
