Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
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