Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Randomize
