sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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