Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
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