I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
