I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
