whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
