kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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