Is it normal to miss your booty call?
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
And then he peed in my hair
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