Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
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