I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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