Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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