Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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