i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
