"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
