she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
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