I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
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