this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
how drunk are you?
Several
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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