i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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