Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
