Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
