He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Randomize
