i just google imaged poop.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
In America we eat man semen.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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