OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Farmville is her only friend.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
