a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
