either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
