Texts From Last Night

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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself

  (1-609): View more from New Jersey

  Is this the I'm gay speech?

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  (609): Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself (1-609): Is this the I'm gay speech? http://tfl.nu/ywd1
  Replies (2) Good night (2155) Bad night (763)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now

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  (651): you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now http://tfl.nu/tgtb
  Replies (27) Good night (9089) Bad night (958)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???

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  (941): She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina??? http://tfl.nu/hnyt
  Replies (24) Good night (1294) Bad night (8121)
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  (530): View more from California

  There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.

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  (530): There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome. http://tfl.nu/r11o
  Replies (12) Good night (3248) Bad night (1167)
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  (716): View more from New York

  That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.

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  (716): That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude. http://tfl.nu/2xpl
  Replies (7) Good night (3684) Bad night (790)
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  (585): View more from New York

  i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold

  (1-585): View more from New York

  hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?

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  (585): i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold (1-585): hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce? http://tfl.nu/cepl
  Replies (4) Good night (3104) Bad night (743)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men

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  (614): she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men http://tfl.nu/vu2o
  Replies (9) Good night (1235) Bad night (2466)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.

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  (908): My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this. http://tfl.nu/dlh8
  Replies (10) Good night (2529) Bad night (886)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?

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  (715): His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him? http://tfl.nu/r9a3
  Replies (21) Good night (1372) Bad night (1767)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.

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  (570): Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone. http://tfl.nu/7xsv
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (676)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.

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  (309): Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash. http://tfl.nu/otoe
  Replies (2) Good night (589) Bad night (1432)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday

  (1-604): View more from British Columbia

  WHY AM I NOT THERE?

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  (604): Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday (1-604): WHY AM I NOT THERE? http://tfl.nu/j17k
  Replies (7) Good night (1309) Bad night (614)
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  (707): View more from California

  Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.

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  (707): Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got. http://tfl.nu/yk6y
  Replies (5) Good night (547) Bad night (1554)
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  (+07): View more from

  I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx

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  (+07): I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx http://tfl.nu/i2go
  Replies (0) Good night (521) Bad night (308)
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  (858): View more from California

  Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker

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  (858): Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker http://tfl.nu/c3nf
  Replies (3) Good night (755) Bad night (226)

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