Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

My nipple is on Facebook.

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

I was like, "um, that's my butthole."

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(201): View more from New Jersey

My phone has seen less use in the last three days than Tom Brady's condoms.

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23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce
Read it at the TFLN blog
(303): View more from Colorado

I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week

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(740): View more from Ohio

Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does

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(330): View more from Ohio

just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings

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(315): View more from New York

I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.

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(407): View more from Florida

I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.

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