I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
