Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large. http://tfl.nu/nhrn
  Replies (3) Good night (785) Bad night (1300)
• Favorite

  (406): View more from Montana

  we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (406): we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting. http://tfl.nu/a3qg
  Replies (16) Good night (2897) Bad night (2155)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (563): I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase. http://tfl.nu/vq3r
  Replies (51) Good night (1158) Bad night (4536)
• Favorite

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  where does the pee come out of this thing

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (920): where does the pee come out of this thing http://tfl.nu/pebd
  Replies (13) Good night (785) Bad night (4663)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend? http://tfl.nu/36no
  Replies (28) Good night (3614) Bad night (1758)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (404): A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show. http://tfl.nu/h6zp
  Replies (16) Good night (7769) Bad night (998)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win. http://tfl.nu/dvpb
  Replies (24) Good night (7459) Bad night (827)
• Favorite

  (708): View more from Illinois

  So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (708): So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive. http://tfl.nu/w5b0
  Replies (22) Good night (3325) Bad night (5885)
• Favorite

  (+41): View more from Switzerland

  I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+41): I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples http://tfl.nu/80un
  Replies (16) Good night (1126) Bad night (5150)
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway? http://tfl.nu/zrwz
  Replies (20) Good night (4426) Bad night (1157)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life. http://tfl.nu/bbi7
  Replies (14) Good night (7229) Bad night (1146)
• Favorite

  (+61): View more from Australia

  After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"

  (1+61): View more from

  I don't know if I want context or not...

  (+61): View more from Australia

  Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+61): After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort" (1+61): I don't know if I want context or not... (+61): Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5. http://tfl.nu/jpk3
  Replies (2) Good night (805) Bad night (569)
• Favorite

  (503): View more from Oregon

  You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (503): You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure. http://tfl.nu/1pyv
  Replies (2) Good night (782) Bad night (340)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint. http://tfl.nu/31gg
  Replies (4) Good night (493) Bad night (295)
• Favorite

  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (570): If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too. http://tfl.nu/6z8l
  Replies (4) Good night (441) Bad night (706)

Randomize