He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Randomize
