I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.