just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
