I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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