you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
Randomize
