OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
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i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
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Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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