Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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