I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
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