i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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