if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I would ride that face into the sunset
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
