when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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