you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Randomize
