Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
I stole a fireplace last night.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
