I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I skipped work to stalk him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should be sponsored by Trojan
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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