Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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