Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
