You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
