Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
Randomize
