Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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