I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
